All shades of me after break up.
Its few days to valentine and yeah, i got broken again for the 1st time this year. a new year already but nothing seem new.
Woah, how do I start now? I mean an Eleven months relationship already gone? I thought he was the one, or maybe my soulmate. Does that even make sense (I mean was soulmate ever a thing)?. We were every bit of perfect; he was every shade of perfection and yeah, hot chocolate! That is what I’d describe him as. Every moment I saw him in those 11 months was my heaven on earth. He made me all and more of myself. I recall how I met my Hot chocolate, lol ): yeah it was first in the online world (Tinda) I texted him first just to play around, calling him daddy all day. I mean, imagine calling a stranger’ daddy. it was so Chessy; he laughed and played along. I sent him reels, and he understood it without me trying to explain what I meant in those reels. He was my ideal guy, and very honest. I introduced myself to him and that was the beginning of my happy days. His name was really so cute but I decided to call him daddy really can’t decipher why. anyway, his real name was derah, derah brought so much joy and happiness to me in the online world, I wanted to meet him, tho he said he knows me and we have met physically but he dosn’t want to come up to me and introduce himself, we were both in the same department in same level, so that was just perfect. 2 weeks into getting to know derah more in the online world we decided to puck a day to meet. derah said we would meet at my best spot on campus ( don’t stress much to think about what spot it is, I love Abacha, so my best spot is the Abacha joint) I was so happy to meet derah, and of cos so much expectations to meet my online daddy. I saw derah and my jaw dropped; he is dark, and tall but lets not forget how cute he looked, he kept a high hair and that made him look so mature and handsome, derah was also slim and not so built tho, but I overlooked that because I was already deepened in love with, oh gezzz, 2 weeks and I am in love already? Well, I fell first, and that made me do whatever I could to please him.
To cut the good days short, 6 months into the rollercoaster of love, derah became distant, he created lock on his phone, WhatsApp and tinda, don’t get me wrong (I was always his security passcode but this time he changed all password to his fingerprint). I noticed he was texting a girl in my department and a church member. Their friendship was beyond the term platonic friends. I just could feel it. I was sad within me, everyday we meet physically but he isn’t there even if he is there. He sends her a good morning text after he sends an emotionless good morning message to me; I cried and told him to give me his phone because I was so lost in my thoughts, and assumptions, I wanted to know if indeed i was right well he gave me his phone and I read his chat till my eyes couldn’t take it anymore; he calls her sweetheart and many names he has never called me before; he held me close to his chest and reassured me they were really just friends, I couldn’t imagine losing him maybe not yet, I wasn’t ready for the pain and i had to listen to him and take him for his words, well relationship get stained but the stain washes away that’s why it’s called a relationship and not friendship. I was too quick to forgive him, and i opened up my heart again to get mended by someone who made my heart bleed weeks again.
Derah began to act sweet like before again, and 5 months into getting used to his sweet nature, he decided we meet and talk about our relationship, tho i was skeptical but also in the dark on what to expect from him this time, he told me that he can’t continue anymore; he said he has fallen out of love for me, and can’t keep making me happy when truly he isn’t happy, My derah said he never fell in love with me from onset, I made him ask me out because I was so in-love to notice what emotion he felt towards me and he didn’t want to end it with me then or cut my happiness short. derah said a lot of things to me that I keep denying it was derah talking. I went home to put on my independent lady panties on, but I don’t think it would be so easy to move on. Maybe not now, maybe not in this life or ever again.
Waking up to this new experience is painful than I imagined, no morning text from the love of my life, no kisses, no hugs, no calls, no caring love check up messages anymore. Its all gone? My hot chocolate is gone, my heaven on earth, ended so quick. 11 months. Now how do i embrace this dark cloud of sadness around me? My heart is heavy, my eyes are watery, my lacrimal fluid is overflowing. Where did I go wrong with derah, how unlucky can this year be? i scroll through my Tinder app hoping to see derah text, maybe this time asking for a second chance. derah came with a shiny sun and colourful rainbow energy to leave me in this sad, lonely world. Indeed, he was the love of my life. Would i ever get through this lonely new phase? Stick with me in my next blog. bye for now );
MEDMIMI 