Dear God…
In how slow everything is going now and how fast a conclusion was drawn in my absence. I am here to pour my heart on how confused I feel right now.
I am strong and fearless but at this point in time I am wounded … Lol not because I choose to be wounded but because I don’t think I have a say anymore.
I guess I never did value what I had or maybe it was worth it. Honestly, I hold nothing back than the obvious fact that in as much as I want to ignore the sore. The pain just doesn’t disappear.
Maybe I was too comfortable with perfection. Or maybe it took me a while to acknowledge the presence of my significant other.
Honestly, I am confused because I always wanted an end, I mean I deserved better and didn’t feel just right with mild. But then I gave it my all, hearing from you took me a while to understand but when he claimed he heard from you. I decided not to question your words but move with the flow knowing it had an expected end and not just an insignificant one. Currently God the little faith I built is dying. Maybe the foundation I used in the building was too weak to hold for a lengthy.
Currently God I don’t know how to feel. Also don’t know the right questions to ask. Was I wrong to do what you said? Or was I wrong to have kept all my effort into making it a phenomenon?
My pain lies in the fact that I was a stumbling block or maybe I was just not it. Or more likely I was a pain to bear. I did feel I was valued maybe loved and respected. Took off my courageous jacket to say Hi in person but was not only ignored but disrespected and disvalued. One who sticks with you can never be discouraged or let down. I have no regrets but am full of confusion that it was all a transaction and he has more debt to pay.
I am in the final stage not waiting for an explanation but accepting what seems may and recuperate. It’s hard to ignore the pain but honestly there no pain but void. I wish it is equal for both right now.
I am glad I made this choices and I want to ask for a favour God please rewrite what has been written before. Because in as much as I feel what I feel now I do not what him now nor in the future. It would be a fail to my face and.a big failure to Sirach, Joan and Nathaniel’s faces. Am not gonna start now by be breaking my promises to them.
Please give me the resilience to pay dividends to this pain for I know it will only last for a while. I do not want anyone like him not worse than him now or in fate
Amen 🕊️
MEDMIMI 