If I had to re-live my past.

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

A stroll to my past…

If wishes were to come to pass. I’d wish to start this year’s journey afresh.

I’d wish to begin with a new slate, to go back to my past and rewrite my present. To reduce the pain I feel now and escape from losing you.

If I could throw a coin in a wishing well I’d wish for just one thing. Which is for you to never leave my hands.

I wish I can go back to January and try to change the energy I put into making you happy on your special day, because they say love is a transaction but you ended it without paying your transaction ( Maybe you planned it all or maybe you never cared) it’s really painful even if I could go back to my past what much change can be made exaxtly? You detached from me the very beginning, even from the day we met you where never attached. You loved me less over and over that even if I go back to start my year again theres not so much to change afterall. I wish you gave the same energy from onset. I wish you gave just more energy to change yourself for the best  I wish you were different to some extent. it seem to me that I had high expectations and I raised your standard so high that you think so high of yourself nowadays, I respect you a lot and I have ever loved you a lot but then love Is Not Enough respect Is Not Enough we just don’t collide in the world that we shared.

What past action was good enough to make the change that I seek?

I wish I didn’t ignore your flaws

I wish I didn’t raise you on a standard so high that you can’t reach.

I wish I took instant action the very moment you decide to be unfaithful.

I wish I didn’t take it so lightly and forguve you with ease

I wish even when you said sorry I wish I broke it off at that very moment if I did I wouldn’t feel this pain I feel right now.

if you couldnt change then  I guess it’s not good enough to make the change now

I wish I can go back to our past the past where we loved each other and could do anything to make ourselves happy.

I wish you could go back to the past where I was your right hand lady where you did everything to make me happy and those happy moments we shared together.

I wish I can go back to the memories, to love you again whenever I hear you again or whenever I feel your presence around me.

Sometimes I question myself and ask how long does it take to heal exactly? they say healing never ends but then only God in heaven can help us heal totally I prayed for this peace I yawned for this peace of mind I was sure too good to get my hands off you I wanted more just couldn’t settle for less. I wanted my dream guy, yh I wanted perfection I never knew this peace could be as lonely and scary as it’s seem right now.  I wish you made a difference everyday. I struggled to find peace with you I wish we were equally yoked together if wishes were flowers 💐 I’d own a garden right now.

Xoxo my lovelies until next time 😍.

Chaio👋