PEACE IN YOUR PAST

It’s easy to look back and question decisions you have made in the past. But it’s unfair to punish your slept for them. You can’t blame yourself for not knowing back then what you know now.

And the truth is you made each decision for a reason based on how you were feeling at the time.

AS WE GROW UP, WE LEARN AND WE EVOLVE.

Maybe the person you are now would have done something different back then, or maybe you are the person you are now because of the decision you made back then.

Trust your journey. It’s all going to make sense soon.

You can find within yourself.

I hope you are learning to give yourself the credit you deserve. I hope you are beginning to recognize just how strong you are for pulling yourself through each and every difficult time in your life. I hope you allow this realization to walk with you, alongside any obstacle or roadblocks you might encounter along your journey.

I hope you know just how capable you are and that no matter how challenging a situation may seem, You have courage to keep moving, to keep growing and to keep healing.

I hope you can look into the mirror and say “I am proud of you” and really mean it. And above all I hope you realize just how incredibly you are, and just how much you deserve your own love 🥰.

Holding special memories of everything we shared.

It’s been a long while, I feel a lot of things, lol teenagers feel right, in the echoes of the universe and how lonely each stars feels I just want to tell you that I don’t think I’d ever forget you. I promise I am healed and ready to love again

But my room hunt me sometimes, the school, audit, Awka, jupeb hall everywhere reminds me of all the memories we had. I still feel your warm kisses even when your mouth stinks every morning after night class, lol, I remember all like it was yesterday, the feelings don’t go away , sometimes I hate you and thank God we didn’t last but most times I wish we end up together someday, like you tell me you never stoped loving me, how hard it was to let go, how hard it still is and everything,

If all stars could align it would make a big impact on the night sky , we would draw lots of stories from each star alignment. But it seems our stars would never align so with each feelings and write a poem about you even if you would never get to read it.

I’d be leaving soon, leaving the place we made the best memories together, distance would creep in like darkness, we would never have anything to talk about even if we get to say hi, then gradually distance would become miles then states aparts and eventually different continents .

I’d miss you so deeply, I’d tell Omah and Sirach about you, that you were meant to be their dad but it won’t happen. And lastly i’d tell my future partner how my high school love was. My first lover, I have been in love before but I have never felt this way for anyone, there’s so much difference, if wishes were tears I’d make an ocean right now .

I don’t know if I can be present for you, I don’t know if I was, I fight the fact that you poured into me but I never helped you grow, you were always ready to help me but there wasn’t any help you needed from me. My Mr perfect.

No one would believe I met Mr perfect but sike there’s no happy ending to that story. A last hug I crave, one day, someday or maybe never. I’d keep fighting for you from a distance even if the sun never comes out even if it never shines on me. You meant the world to me my psalm 45 vs 2 .

Psalm 45 vs 2

You’re here, like the time you touched my face, and promised you always would be. My biggest fear, that hand would disappear and you will be gone like sunshine in the dark swallowed in the night the dark forms and consumes, it convinces, it grooms, it takes you away and I am left with the echos of words you used to say and the memories my room holds, but I know the heart underneath the pain, it has hope and so do I. That one day the dark would leave the sky . I see your sun shine trough the dark . It’s dark it warms me, still I know you’re there, somewhere, today, tomorrow, forever.

Pheww, a year being handled by God.

Yes we did meet again. And in all honesty unintentionally.  I am working on my future, and you seem to align with it

You seem so far but soo close. Like a painting on the wall that I can’t afford but I am willing to redraw or re sculpt you again on a new clay. I’d do it slowly and perfectly. Ensuring every lines are straight and all dots are placed not missing any strands of hair on ur head. With time and patience I’d get a new perfect you. Neatly drawn