The promise was a forever, it’s been 1 month now but life goes on. But I can’t learn how to go back into the world which u found me.
Want you to know that you are my favourite human on earth then, I prayed so hard that u stick to ur promises and stay not for me but for sirach, Nathaniel and joan. Anyway I promise to keep my promise to moan you for as long as I can, for as long as possible. I honestly am scared that if I move on I might forget all the memories we shared, am scared that you might come back one day and discover I moved on.
But God dosn’t lie, so I don’t doubt his words. Maybe u have forgotten what he told u, and what you stronghold was. But it’s hard for me to forget. Nevertheless am glad it was you, and am glad it’s hard for me to forget you because I don’t want to.
Anytime I read a book and come across your names I smile with gladness in my heart. I wish you could hold my hands again and tell me I have lots of potential to unleash and give me more reasons to look towards life every morning. Ok well, I hope you are at peace where you are and you don’t feel sad anymore. I pray fate brings you back to earth, back to Omah but then I have high expectations always.
You honestly are the definition of My MR PERFECT 💯 my motivation, my prayer warrior and everything in between. But then I hold a stand and am trying to embrace freedom, I can’t even find joy within the freedom. If it’s the will of God so be it.
POV: To my dear readers, love is a beautiful thing, embrace it and enjoy it while it last but if it gets so toxic please move on, it’s hard but not impossible 🙏
In how slow everything is going now and how fast a conclusion was drawn in my absence. I am here to pour my heart on how confused I feel right now.
I am strong and fearless but at this point in time I am wounded … Lol not because I choose to be wounded but because I don’t think I have a say anymore.
I guess I never did value what I had or maybe it was worth it. Honestly, I hold nothing back than the obvious fact that in as much as I want to ignore the sore. The pain just doesn’t disappear.
Maybe I was too comfortable with perfection. Or maybe it took me a while to acknowledge the presence of my significant other.
Honestly, I am confused because I always wanted an end, I mean I deserved better and didn’t feel just right with mild. But then I gave it my all, hearing from you took me a while to understand but when he claimed he heard from you. I decided not to question your words but move with the flow knowing it had an expected end and not just an insignificant one. Currently God the little faith I built is dying. Maybe the foundation I used in the building was too weak to hold for a lengthy.
Currently God I don’t know how to feel. Also don’t know the right questions to ask. Was I wrong to do what you said? Or was I wrong to have kept all my effort into making it a phenomenon?
My pain lies in the fact that I was a stumbling block or maybe I was just not it. Or more likely I was a pain to bear. I did feel I was valued maybe loved and respected. Took off my courageous jacket to say Hi in person but was not only ignored but disrespected and disvalued. One who sticks with you can never be discouraged or let down. I have no regrets but am full of confusion that it was all a transaction and he has more debt to pay.
I am in the final stage not waiting for an explanation but accepting what seems may and recuperate. It’s hard to ignore the pain but honestly there no pain but void. I wish it is equal for both right now.
I am glad I made this choices and I want to ask for a favour God please rewrite what has been written before. Because in as much as I feel what I feel now I do not what him now nor in the future. It would be a fail to my face and.a big failure to Sirach, Joan and Nathaniel’s faces. Am not gonna start now by be breaking my promises to them.
Please give me the resilience to pay dividends to this pain for I know it will only last for a while. I do not want anyone like him not worse than him now or in fate
It is crazy enough to see the breast as an external organ so prone to cancerous tumors.
To add salt to an injury no gender is exempted from breast tumor/lump growths.
Let’s drift, a little story time…
Sarah’s grandma has been feeling pain on her underarms and axilla. Of cause Sarah as a medical student is being questioned every day by her grandma.
Questions like, Sarah why do my underarms hurt so bad, I can feel my breasts seem more heavy than usual ( lol 😆 I keep telling Mama what if it’s menstruation signs Deep down I know it’s impossible because Mama is 61 years old already). Mama keeps laughing because she sees white-ish milk substances from her breast every time she takes a shower.
I called my mum’s attention to Grandma daily complaint, as grandma sang this complaint to my ears I repeated them in my mum’s ears like a lullaby. Mummy got so worried as grandma doesn’t just complain about these signs and symptoms but she stinks these days because of the liquid substance from her right breast. Mum scheduled an appointment with our family doctor ( Dr Olushegu Shadrach ) and mum met him to share her worries on grandma symptoms. Doctor reassured mummy that grandma would be fine if she takes her daily routine drugs and habal medicine but mum beyond reasonable doubt knew something was off with grandma.
4 months later grandma right breast has swollen so big that it was a call of concern to everyone at home, we took grandma to a private hospital and on getting there she had to undergo an immediate surgery because grandma was diagnosed with breast cancer, ( during surgery her right breast was removed and the left breast was placed under supervision because the cancer has spread to that part of grandma breast) 3 weeks later grandma left breast was removed and given to a histopathologist to confirm the nature of the pathological disease ( the left breast was also diagnosed with cancer).
This last few month has been stressful for everyone at home because grandma has been discharged from the hospital yet gives complain that she can’t breathe well and feels her chest is tight. After 2 weeks of ignoring grandma complain mum had to rush grandma to the same private hospital for further check up.
Doctor checked grandma thoroughly and discovered her recently removed breast tumors affected her lungs and she’s be diagnosed of lung cancer. As sad as the whole family felt, the doctor said grandma would pass away in few weeks from now as her lungs is seriously infected.
With my eyes full of tears 😭 Grandma left Earth last week because of cancer, breast cancer took Granny away from us. Mum came home after Granny’s burial saying breast cancer is hereditary and we are at high risk of developing breast cancer as every female and male is prone to it.
Nothing scares me more like death, as a medical student I have contacted my profs in school and still making research to end cancer before it ends me.
Back to reality…
In my recent training sessions, I have seen a cut section of breast tumours and how big they can be, the correct size of a human breast varies from size to size according to a woman’s body weight. A recently processed breast tissue weighed over 80 grams for a lady whose total body weighs less than 120 grams.
It’s Alarming and a call of concern that we have over 60% of patient in the hospital because of this same breast cancer and over 83 – 97% of walk in patients in a histopathology laboratory comes in with breast tumour specimens. Ranging from 14yrs of age to 91 years ( no age bracket is safe)
We need to raise awareness for breast cancer.
Where does breast cancer grow?
Breast cancer affects both breasts and no areas are excluded. From your underarm area, to the axila upper outer, lower outer and tail of Spence ( towards your chest region)
SIGNS OF BREAST CANCER TO LOOK OUTFOR.
It’s hard to detect these symptoms if you do not examine your breasts before menstral cycle and after menstral cycle you shouldn’t wait till your breasts feels heavy before you know how to acts towards what pain you might feel.
BREAST SELF-EXAMINATION THAT HELPS.
Take this Self-examination after every menstrual cycle.
Breast Cancer is hereditary and can be non-hereditary ( how do I mean?) If your mum, aunty, grandaunty, uncle or grandma suffered from breast cancer or is a cancer survivor. It only means that YOU ARE AT A HIGH RISK OF SUFFERING FROM BREAST CANCER NOW OR LATER IN LIFE. But don’t fidget, fight against breast cancer now and practice your self examination to enable you detect breast cancer early.
For breast cancer being non-hereditary it simply means your parent or family might not have suffered this BUT YOU CAN due to environmental factors and chemicals. Always practice your self-examination to detect breast cancer on time.
Breaking free from what makes sense and discovering your feminine power.
The most expected perfect creature are always the female gender. Not throwing shades at the opposite gender here.
In the world today we all love our mothers ( female) our mothers are the most gentle creatures, role model to their kids, hold the family together, the praying pillar in the family the first teacher to their babies and every word that describes perfection should be used to describe the (female) mothers.
What happens to our feminine power, what happens to embrace the will to go out of what makes sense, what happens to our happiness?
Let’s take a stroll to story time…
Being in love is beautiful, but still having feelings for my ex boyfriend is dangerous for my perfect marriage. I have a beautiful home, very handsome husband and my two beautiful kids ( Nethan and Ellarie) . My husband is the perfect man every Lady out there would want to settle down with. He is a sophisticated insurance manager in Bells company. Money everywhere !!!( yeah! You can scream that again) he is financially buoyant.
My son on the other hands is 6 years of age, handsome and gentle ( he is at the stage where a perfect family to train him is all that is required).
My little Ellarie is 6 months and I am feeding her on exclusive breastmilk. In essence, I am a full time mum, building my family and making everyone happy. My family is where I belong because I love them so much but something is missing. Oh no my sex life with hubby is excellent.
Okay I am gonna cut the trap now! My sex life is in no where perfect. I don’t know what’s wrong but I can’t get my ex-boyfriend out of my mind. It’s been 8 years now and I remember every beautiful and ugly moment I had with him. In my daily journal I write every great intimate moment I ever had with Brad.
Brad is hot and sexy, his desire and the way he yawns for me is everything I love, Brad and I stayed together for 4 years ( with lots of fights, break up and happy moment) To be honest I have never felt more in love than the way Brad made me feel in the past. Every day we have sex I find ever new reasons to love him over and over again. ( little confession I have never enjoyed sex with anyone in my life the way I enjoy it with Brad) don’t judge me, before I met Jason I was into the world having fun with diffrent guys and that was my example of an independent woman. No one was there to tell me what to do or who to fu*k. Of cos Jason knows the type of life I lived before now and knows the stories of all my exes yet he wanted to build a home with me because of the love we have for each other.
In the early morning of today, Jason got up early to prep for work while I made breakfast for him and prep Nethan for creche. I turned on my laptop to get some fantasies of Brad off my mind and I left to check something on the gas cooker ( it’s skipped my mind that my laptop was left turned on).
Jason washed off and came to the bedroom to quickly get dressed on his attempt to turn off my laptop he hovered around my journal about Brad and he sat down to read every sexy fantasies I had written, he read how Brad has had sex with me everywhere of his cribs, his studio, the bathroom, the pool, and the elevator. He read how I think about Brad everyday of our marriage. How I visualize having sex with brad just to maybe enjoy sex with him. Rushing to the bedroom at the slight secs I realized I left my laptop turned on. I saw jason glued to my screen and he left quietly, just quickly got dressed for work and left the apartment.
Now I am here trying to figure what wrong has this journal caused me and what bad it has done to my 8 years of marriage now
I have to reassure Jason and also forget about Brad for good. How do I do this when Brad wants a second chance for us to bring our young youth marriage dreams a reality. But I can’t give up my perfect family to go back to my Ex boyfriend even after Brad propose to me and asking for a chance. I love my perfect Jason but how about my sexy ex boyfriend…
Back to Reality…
What happens to having a happy home, having the perfect marriage and enjoying the perfect intimate moment with your husbands? Being regarded as a mother to my kids and a mother to my husband. what happens to being regarded as a wife or a partner to my husband?
To my gender, embrace your feminine power at all time, discover HOW TO MAKE SENSE FROM WHAT DOSNT MAKE SENSE IN THE SOCIETY. Appreciate your feminity, embrace your vulnerability, use your feminine power and get what you really desire and while you aiming at what you desire endeavour its what makes you happy. If you must prioritize your family happiness do that a your detriment and enjoy a life with so much regret.
scrolling through the gram last week I hoped on a post that questioned the female gender to ask ” What do females bring to the table in marriage”
You bring life my girl, You nurture and bring a whole creature ( living thing) to the table, you bring emotional support, you bring a heart of love and care, you bring a strong pillar of prayers holding your family in the war room is what you bring to the table, my girl. You deserve Happiness as the least of all good things you are deserving of. EMBRACE YOUR FEMININE WILL TO BE TREATED THE RIGHT WAY AND DO NOT SETTLE FOR WHAT DOSNT BRING GENUINE HAPPINESS TO YOU.
All shades of emotion, it’s been 2 weeks now since Derah shut me off, and moving on has been pretty easy, lol 😆 yeah you got me there.
Moving on has been hell on earth, the emotions and mixed feelings I get,drifting into my thoughts during the day and dreaming about him all night while I sleep. It’s been hard, really hard noticing the fact that Derah moved on so quick makes me question his words. Did he ever love me? Oh, he said he did but maybe he never meant those words. Memories and pain are my new best friend. I remember 11 months ago when Derah held my hands the very day we met. Derah’s hands were so soft as the cloud, his skin was as smooth as fur, and his arm was all I wanted to hold on to for the rest of my life. Never dreamt of a day without him.
Derah restricted my calls and texts, yes he blocked me, so I scroll all day reading all the sweet text he left me, the good morning sunshine 🌞, good night shortcake 🍰, as I read through my eyes gets heavy, my heart questions itself, like how did we get to this point that everything is beyond repair, why did derah leave me, wasn’t I enough, what haven’t I done to make my derah happy, oh gexxy hot tears began to roll down my cheek as my eyes roll around its orbital foramen. I had to let it all out, I needed to scream, no I am not strong enough, i can’t endure this pain. I felt my heart break as I screamed into my pillow. Holding my two fingers I used my nails to pierce each other, because I am too angry to move on maybe not now.
Anger sack into my heart, I saw derah everyday in the class during lecture, his perfume were here to hunt me, even in his absence I could smell his scent from afar . seeing him happily moving on as he speaks to every other female in my department aside me. I couldn’t help but let envy and jealousy take over me.
I can’t let this get over me, I remember a word from a New York best seller book I read. The Third Way by Sasha Snow .
“I am walking away because you were too busy finding fault in me while I over look” yours”
I did overlook everything Derah did to me, I was so quick to forgive his fault and learnt to leave with his flaws. ” I know my heart would never be the same but the heart was made to be broken”
I am enough.
In the light of being ready to move on, I deleted Derah from my phone and mind, I shut the door of every memory we shared in the last 11 months. I am ready to embrace myself, I have been enough before, I am still enough and I will continue to be enough for myself and those that know my value.
Its few days to valentine and yeah, i got broken again for the 1st time this year. a new year already but nothing seem new.
Woah, how do I start now? I mean an Eleven months relationship already gone? I thought he was the one, or maybe my soulmate. Does that even make sense (I mean was soulmate ever a thing)?. We were every bit of perfect; he was every shade of perfection and yeah, hot chocolate! That is what I’d describe him as. Every moment I saw him in those 11 months was my heaven on earth. He made me all and more of myself. I recall how I met my Hot chocolate, lol ): yeah it was first in the online world (Tinda) I texted him first just to play around, calling him daddy all day. I mean, imagine calling a stranger’ daddy. it was so Chessy; he laughed and played along. I sent him reels, and he understood it without me trying to explain what I meant in those reels. He was my ideal guy, and very honest. I introduced myself to him and that was the beginning of my happy days. His name was really so cute but I decided to call him daddy really can’t decipher why. anyway, his real name was derah, derah brought so much joy and happiness to me in the online world, I wanted to meet him, tho he said he knows me and we have met physically but he dosn’t want to come up to me and introduce himself, we were both in the same department in same level, so that was just perfect. 2 weeks into getting to know derah more in the online world we decided to puck a day to meet. derah said we would meet at my best spot on campus ( don’t stress much to think about what spot it is, I love Abacha, so my best spot is the Abacha joint) I was so happy to meet derah, and of cos so much expectations to meet my online daddy. I saw derah and my jaw dropped; he is dark, and tall but lets not forget how cute he looked, he kept a high hair and that made him look so mature and handsome, derah was also slim and not so built tho, but I overlooked that because I was already deepened in love with, oh gezzz, 2 weeks and I am in love already? Well, I fell first, and that made me do whatever I could to please him.
To cut the good days short, 6 months into the rollercoaster of love, derah became distant, he created lock on his phone, WhatsApp and tinda, don’t get me wrong (I was always his security passcode but this time he changed all password to his fingerprint). I noticed he was texting a girl in my department and a church member. Their friendship was beyond the term platonic friends. I just could feel it. I was sad within me, everyday we meet physically but he isn’t there even if he is there. He sends her a good morning text after he sends an emotionless good morning message to me; I cried and told him to give me his phone because I was so lost in my thoughts, and assumptions, I wanted to know if indeed i was right well he gave me his phone and I read his chat till my eyes couldn’t take it anymore; he calls her sweetheart and many names he has never called me before; he held me close to his chest and reassured me they were really just friends, I couldn’t imagine losing him maybe not yet, I wasn’t ready for the pain and i had to listen to him and take him for his words, well relationship get stained but the stain washes away that’s why it’s called a relationship and not friendship. I was too quick to forgive him, and i opened up my heart again to get mended by someone who made my heart bleed weeks again.
Derah began to act sweet like before again, and 5 months into getting used to his sweet nature, he decided we meet and talk about our relationship, tho i was skeptical but also in the dark on what to expect from him this time, he told me that he can’t continue anymore; he said he has fallen out of love for me, and can’t keep making me happy when truly he isn’t happy, My derah said he never fell in love with me from onset, I made him ask me out because I was so in-love to notice what emotion he felt towards me and he didn’t want to end it with me then or cut my happiness short. derah said a lot of things to me that I keep denying it was derah talking. I went home to put on my independent lady panties on, but I don’t think it would be so easy to move on. Maybe not now, maybe not in this life or ever again.
Waking up to this new experience is painful than I imagined, no morning text from the love of my life, no kisses, no hugs, no calls, no caring love check up messages anymore. Its all gone? My hot chocolate is gone, my heaven on earth, ended so quick. 11 months. Now how do i embrace this dark cloud of sadness around me? My heart is heavy, my eyes are watery, my lacrimal fluid is overflowing. Where did I go wrong with derah, how unlucky can this year be? i scroll through my Tinder app hoping to see derah text, maybe this time asking for a second chance. derah came with a shiny sun and colourful rainbow energy to leave me in this sad, lonely world. Indeed, he was the love of my life. Would i ever get through this lonely new phase? Stick with me in my next blog. bye for now );
Here’s your long awaited answer. Who is Medmimi? Right? Anyway, I Am miracle by name I am 18+ don’t think much, I am older than you . I am a student of a prestigious university in the states (Anambra state) lol 😆. Currently studying Human Anatomy . Yh I have plans to take up medicine as a main course of study. Nice to meet you 😊. Don’t forget to introduce yourself in the comments section
I am a writer , a content writer to be specific. I would be taking y’all on my medical journey, as I basically would be writing content about the human health , our vital role we need to play while taking care of our health , the little things we ignore that are dangerous to our health , we would be talking about everything you need to know being 18+ concerning our sex life and more. Now take my hands and join me on my adventure, you are going to love it 😏.
MEDMIMI 