I am heartbroken again , seems like it’s a monthly symptoms
Everytime I am lying alone on the bed, I think of you. Yes it’s sad that yet after 3 years I can’t hit my chest and say I have healed 😔. I am so disappointed that it’s a struggle.
Here I am reminiscing on how suffocated I felt in school, when you pass me, when you come close to me or when I smell you from afar. I don’t understand why I felt that way, because I don’t know why we broke up yet again I am here without you, clutching on my chest because you left me without keeping any of your promises.
We would travel the world and do God’s work you said, I’m your future wife you reassured, I’d get you a pink huge Teddy now you left without any of these words being fulfilled. I hold back the tears I cried on December 2qst last year because I signed and promised my self not to go back yet my heart failed again and again. And had to be courageous enough to ask you those questions I couldn’t get answers from you physically and you said for some reasons you can’t tell me what I need to hear,you played a sneaky game and lied. I still remember 3rd of December with your blue sweater siting outside the cold while you hold my palms and warm it back to life to slide in a promise ring saying, I should WAIT for you to get ordained in ministry and you will come back for me.
I felt I wasn’t enough and I need you to hug me and tell me how much I meant to you without mincing words, tell me everything you did to me internationally and unintentionally I promise I’d forgive you, I really promise I won’t hold any of your offences against you, I don’t see or imagine myself with anyone yet. You have been my world and I am still waiting but I am not getting any younger darling. I am tired of missing you 💔I am sorry for all i said, i foguve you please just come back to me😪 . A goodbye hug maybe.
Until wr meet again in the future porkies.
MEDMIMI 